


I didn't want to take them so I stopped

by LadyAbigail



Series: Tumblr prompts [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot of people take it, Always Keep Fighting, Depression, F/M, It is never wrong to take medication, Please don't stop medication unless instructed by a doctor, Protectiveness, Sam and Dean want to help, Stopping medication, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10893507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAbigail/pseuds/LadyAbigail
Summary: You decide to stop taking your medicine. What happens when the boys find out?





	I didn't want to take them so I stopped

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of a persobal experience and a tumblr prompt "I didn't want to take them anymore so I stopped."
> 
> You can stop right here if you don't wish to continue.
> 
> There is nothing wrong with needing to take medication. It may take a bit to find the right medication but there's nothing wrong with taking it.

It felt like your world was crashing. You had stopped taking your medication over a week ago and you felt a little guilty for stopping them but there was only so much you could take. The drugs made you feel even worse then being off of them. Since stopping them your head felt a little clearer but not much. The pills gave you suicidal thoughts that you wanted to act on and you had even come up with a plan. With the boys gone periodically, sometimes there were hunts that were out of state or some hunts took longer then expected, it wouldn't be that hard to slice your wrists open in a hot bath or put a bullet in your head. Hell Dean kept enough alcohol around so you could die from alcohol poisoning. There was no way you could tell the boys about this. They wouldn't understand it. 

 

A strong knock on the door pulled you out of your daydream and you watched as both boys walked into your room. They looked frustrated. Your mind instantly started to go through many scenarios about what you did. 

 

"Could you explain why these were in the garbage?" Dean questioned as he held up the nearly full prescription bottle. 

 

Shit. They found them. You didn't think they'd actually look through the trash Your eyes wondered up to Dean then over to Sam. Dean looked angry and Sam looked disappointed.

 

"What are you doing? Going through the garbage now?" You sounded defensive towards Dean. It wasn't intentional. 

 

"Actually I went to go throw something away and I saw them sitting at the bottom of an empty bag." Dean let out a sigh. "Again, why were they in the garbage?" 

 

**"I didn't want to take them anymore so I stopped and threw them away."**

**"** You can't just stop taking medication like this. It's dangerous." Dean went to hand you the bottle back but you stepped away from him. 

 

"Yeah well I did and I'm not taking them anymore." Your eyes rolled down to the bottle Dean held in his hand.

 

"What's wrong with taking them? A lot of people do." Sam finally spoke up after watching the interaction between you and Dean. 

 

"I didn't like what they were turning me into." You whispered quietly. You didn't want to tell them this. 

 

"What the hell do you mean "turning you into?" Sam spoke up again. Now he knew there was something you weren't telling them. 

 

"They were turning me into a fucking zombie Sam! You idiots were to stupid to notice that I hardly left my room or that I was hardly eating. You two were either caught up in a case or you guys just didn't even care. You guys were to fucking clueless to see I was in here coming up with a plan!" You screamed at the brothers. You were on the verge of self destruction. It took you a lot of strength to not cry in front of them. You were to strong not to cry. Only weak people cried. 

 

"Plan? What plan are you talking about?" Dean looked at you confused then looked up at his brother who had a scared look on his face. It was obvious Sam knew what she was talking about. 

 

"She has a plan to kill herself Dean" Sam spoke up as his green eyes met with your brown ones. 

 

Dean turned his head towards you. How did they miss that you were suffering like this? God they were idiots.

 

"What was your plan?" Dean finally spoke after a bit of silence between everybody. 

 

"Hot bath with razor blade or alcohol poisoning." You felt the tears that threatened to fall and tried hard to push them away. "I thought about swallowing a bullet but i don't have the courage to do it. 

 

"Why didn't you come to us about this?" Sam spoke up. There was fear in his voice. Sam was scared of losing you. 

 

"You guys wouldn't understand,that's why." You ran your hand through your raven colored hair. There was no way they'd understand it. Hell for all you knew they were judging you. 

 

"Wouldn't understand?" Dean fought back his temper. "You're family. You can talk to us about anything. Stuff like this is important. We want to help you through stuff like this. There's absolutely no reason why you have to do this alone and if we ever hear you crying or if you say you're having an episode one of us will help you in any way we can."

 

It only took a few seconds for the sobbing to start. You couldn't hold it back anymore. You needed to let go. Dean walked over to you and guided you to the bed. Sam pulled the blankets aside and Dean had you lay down on the middle of the bed. Sam took one side while Dean took the other. When you felt the bed dip down you instantly pulled yourself close to which ever brother it was. It was Sam and his hand went up to stroke your hair while Dean's hand rubbed at your back.

 

"Just let it all out." Sam whispered into your ear. "Let all that fear,all that anger and all that pain out." 

 

None of you knew how much time had passed but you had finally fallen asleep in the younger Winchester's arms. Dean was going to get up to leave the room but Sam shook his head. It would be a good idea for him to be here when you woke up.  

.

 

 


End file.
